I think we’re raised to believe that connection comes from commonalities, and I think that’s half true.

It does come from commonalities, but not the ones we usually think of.

It doesn’t mean that we have the same things in common, like interests, travel, or a favourite sports team.

It’s more about having the same things in common in terms of values, perspective on the world, and philosophy of how things should be, and so on.

However, even that doesn’t need to completely align.

I’ve got some great friendships with people who fucking argue with me all the time, but I enjoy arguing with them.

I enjoy the respect underneath the arguments.

I enjoy that we argue as peers.

So, it’s respect that I’m really having in common with them. But, in terms of ideas about how the world should work, we’re actually quite opposed.

Look for people who share your values, and then you ask the question: where would someone with these values go, where would they hang out?

This is where you end up with something like a dancing or a cooking class, a support group, or whatever. You’re thinking, “If somebody has this value system, what’s going to attract them?”

How do you figure that out? You go, “Well, what attracts me? What draws me? What do I wish I was doing?”

To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here: