This is what happens when people aren’t honest—when they aren’t honest about their anger, when they don’t set and respect boundaries, or when they don’t respect themselves.

These people get stuck in a loop, a pattern of events that keeps recurring.

First, the person gets irritated.

A boundary gets crossed, and immediately, what the person will do next is make a safety assessment—Who crossed my boundary, and how safe are they?

Now, when I say “safe,” what I mean is: How honest can I be with this person without negative consequences, particularly the fear of them leaving me?

What kind of risks are at play if I were to express my anger or irritation honestly?

If the assessment comes out as “unsafe,” what the people-pleaser will do next is tolerate bad behaviour.

To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here: