Frame Control – Managing Your Reality

How you DECIDE to see the world will completely determine your quality of life. Objective reality is neutral – it’s only once we “frame” it that it takes on meaning, value and pain.
If you can learn how to control your frame, you can choose to make reality suit you, as well as protect yourself from the manipulation of others.


2 Responses

  1. A coworker was upset with me today based on something that I said (she said something, and I told her “liar” but in a very jokingly way based on my perception). She essentially didn’t want to talk to me for the rest of the day. I’m not used to people being upset with me, and the nice guy in me felt a slight sting for the rest of the day at work. I think the reframe for me here is possibly being more careful the next time I call someone “a liar”. I of course had no intention of offending her…I try to frame this as a continuous learning lesson on how to work well with my coworkers.

    Also, Dan, you mentioned in previous podcasts/videos on how “positive thinking” can be very unhelpful (example: false sense of progress), but in this podcast, it is can bring helpful frames. Can you clarify your stance on “positive thinking”?

    1. I think the simplest way to put it is there is a difference between positive thinking and optimism. Positive thinking is about FORCING yourself to pretend the situation is better than it is, based on hope and wishful thinking. Optimisim is about looking at the benefits, opportunities and things to be grateful for within a situation, based on evidence and reason. “I try to frame this as a continuous learning lesson on how to work well with my coworkers” – that’s optimism. Positive thinking would be more like “She’ll end up liking me.”

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