Every week, I get emails from various companies and start ups trying to get me to host my
3X Confidence Course on their platform.
They must have all taken the same marketing course or something, because the emails almost look identical.
First, they make it sound like they’ve actually gone through the course, with something like “I just checked out your 3X Confidence Course on Udemy and I loved the content!”
Second, they tell me that because of how high-quality the course is, they’d love to personally invite me to use their platform, as if they are very selective and exclusive.
Thirdly, they make a grand promise about waiving all their fees “this one time” because they’re SO excited about me joining their “tribe”.
And finally, they invite me to book in a time to call with someone from their team who’s job title sounds like they’re very important, often the founder him/herself!
Number of times I’ve accepted one of these invitations? ZERO.
Why? Because it’s obviously bullshit.
With just a bit of reasoning and research I can establish that they’re using a cookie-cutter template email that they must send out to anyone and everyone who has a course on Udemy with high ratings.
Sometimes they even forget to remove a part of the template, and I get an email like “Hi [insert first name], we loved your [insert course name here] course so much!”
Other times they’re most sophisticated, the latest approach being to give the appearance that the person emailing me has been asked to reach out to me on behalf of the CEO, even including a forwarded email from the CEO below the original, like “I just saw this guy on Udemy, please reach out to him and waive all fees because he’s awesome!”
What they don’t seem to realise is that I get so many of these emails that I’d have to be a complete idiot to not see that I’m being played. They don’t give 2 personal fucks about me, and are only interested in GETTING. They want to use me to get money, clients and credibility. They don’t want to give me anything that doesn’t guarantee them a high ROI, yet they pretend they care.
When you apply your people-pleasing and other manipulative strategies to hide that you’re trying to get something, you’ll probably convince yourself that you’re fooling everyone.
I’ve got tough news for you: most people see right through the act. They might not know exactly what your game is, but one thing nearly everyone is highly attuned to is the crawling feeling that someone is trying to GET something from you.
You know that feeling when someone randomly approaches you on the street with a big smile and says “Hi, how’s your day going”? Is there any doubt that you’re about to get sold some bullshit? You just KNOW, don’t you?
Sure, the people in your life SEEM to be convinced, like they laugh at your jokes or give you compliments or even allow you to touch their special places, but rest assured that 90% of the time this is merely politeness and tolerance.
I used to be so sure that I was a master at hiding my true colours behind pleasing behaviour, like being funny, helpful, kind and easygoing. But one by one, people started coming forward and letting me know that I wasn’t as convincing as I hoped.
One staff member told me the whole team knew that I was stressed because I had bags under my eyes.
One girl said I was pathetic for using self-deprecating humour to get sympathy.
Another girl told me she knew I’d had a crush on her during our whole one year platonic relationship.
One associate told me that he didn’t respect me in high school because I was fake.
One day I woke up and realised that people knew I was full of shit anyway, so why did I bother keeping up the act? Why not just be straight up with people and tell them what they ALREADY know?
I encourage you to find out this truth for yourself. Ask people you trust who are close to you if you’re really as good at faking it as you’d hoped. Does your best friend know that you are depressed? Does that girl at work know that you like her? Do your parents know you’re trying to impress them?
Maybe you don’t need to put in that effort and can just relax into honesty.
If you want more support with this, email me dan@brojo.org
