Here’s an interesting Nice Guy limiting belief: “I’m not judgmental.”

One of the biggest errors you’ll make is what I call mind reading—assuming you know what another person is thinking or feeling, and then carrying on with that judgment without checking to see if it’s actually true.

This is a classic one that nice guys do all the time.

It’s actually part of our danger assessment.

We’re constantly trying to guess what someone else is thinking so that we can anticipate their behaviour and then moderate it, manage it, or prevent it in some way to our benefit.

It’s part of the manipulation package that we run.

You won’t believe how often you’re wrong.

You’ll think you’re 100% right—that you can really guess what other people are thinking. But, all you’re really doing is thinking your own thoughts and projecting them onto someone else.

If you think, “That person hates me,” it’s actually you thinking that you hate you. You’re projecting it onto them, as if they’ve demonstrated some evidence that it’s true—but nearly all the time, there’s no evidence.

The number of times I’m working with a coaching client and they say, “I think that guy hates me,” and I ask, “Where’s the proof?”—the answer is: there is none.

They’ve never said they hate me.

They’ve never punched me.

They’ve never gone behind my back and talked crap about me.

There’s never any proof.

To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here: