For men with Nice Guy Syndrome, being nice is actually a form of manipulation.

In case you’re wondering if I’m being judgmental, I have Nice Guy Syndrome.

I’ve been in recovery for many years now. I’ve had it for as long as I can remember. I’m one of the tribe—like a former drug addict working in Narcotics Anonymous.

I see you.

I see through you.

This is not judgment; this is understanding.

While most Nice Guys, unfortunately, won’t admit this to themselves (until they do some deep introspection and finally question why things aren’t working out for them in their lives), their main goal is to control how other people see them—and therefore, control how people feel about them.

The official term for this is impression management.

Nice Guys either do this by: manipulating people into liking them or into feeling certain pleasurable emotions and connections with them; or by avoiding setting off negative emotions in others.

They either make you like them or avoid you disliking them.

It doesn’t have to be a life sentence. You don’t have to stay like this. There’s a whole new confident, masculine way of living that everyone will prefer, actually—but it will require some discomfort.

To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here: