When it comes to manipulation, what we need to know is how to respond to it in a way that benefits us and ensures a higher quality of life.

If I always react to people in such a way that my quality of life improves, it doesn’t really matter what their intentions are. It doesn’t matter whether they’re good or evil, as long as I make the most of it.

The good news is that, after working for decades in the field of manipulation, I can tell you that you don’t need to know their intent in order to protect yourself.

Manipulation is a subjective experience.

The most important factor to consider in manipulation is: how is the receiver being affected?

So, if the person being manipulated ends up with a higher quality of life and higher self-worth—beneficial outcomes—then we would call that good manipulation, no matter what the intent of the person was, because it had good results.

For the same reason, if someone was harmed by the manipulation, if their quality of life worsened and they had bad outcomes, both short term and long term, then we’d call that bad manipulation—even if the person doing it was trying to help.

Hopefully, you can see a key truth here: manipulation happens inside you, not out there. It’s not what they do; it’s how you interpret it, receive it, and react to it.

To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here: