The thing I see with a lot of people who struggle to create new friendships, especially in adulthood, is that there’s no training for how to make adult friends.

That’s why a lot of us struggle—because we’re so busy looking for friends that we’re actually not doing what we really want to do and meeting people there.

It’s amazing to me when I hear people’s criteria for who they want to meet; it’s often things that don’t guarantee a good connection.

You know, my wife and I are quite different in a vast number of ways.

Not only are we from opposite sides of the planet, but where I’m academic, she’s social; we’re into different types of music; we come from completely different cultural backgrounds.

What we have in common is values.

We both value honesty, both value responsibility, both value compassion and courage.

So, that’s where we line up. But, you wouldn’t see that in our stats.

Our stats don’t look like we match at all.

Really, we’ve got almost nothing in common except for a love of dancing, which is where we met.

I’m just saying, be careful that you’re not looking for someone who also likes dancing.

What I’m saying here is: you’re looking for people who share your values, and then you ask the question, “Well, where would someone with these values go?”

To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here: