How To Respond To Passive Aggressive Behaviour

Passive aggressive behaviour consists of moves like sulking, making indirect remarks or backhanded compliments, which are designed to push you without being direct.

There are two ways to deal with this.

The first one is taking it at face value.

The second is what I call calling the bluff.

In the case of taking it at face value, this is what you do: whatever they say, you don’t try to read any hidden message in there, but treat it like what they’re saying is the absolute truth.

So, let’s say someone’s mad at you and you say “Are you alright?”, and they say “Yeah, I’m fine”, you go “Oh good!.” Then, you just walk off and carry on with your day as if they’re actually fine. In this way, they learn that you’re not going to try and interpret them and you’re not going to play their game.

The other, I think even more powerful, way is just to call it out.

Just say “I think you’re being passive aggressive and not saying what you really mean, but I’m not going to play this game with you. So, either come at me directly or I’m simply going to take what you say at face value and go with that.”

2 Responses

  1. Keep in mind that some people were conditioned by fear to communicate in this way and aren’t actually bad people

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