CONNECT WITH DAN

How to Know Yourself, Step One: Stop Believing Your Beliefs

Notice how CERTAIN you feel about your beliefs. You’re sure that you’re an atheist or a person of faith. You’re sure that you’re a good person or a bad person. You’re sure that you believe in gravity. But WHY are you so sure?

 


For more personal support, contact Dan directly with your questions dan@brojo.org If you enjoyed this video, get access to more of BROJO’s content and dozens of confidence-building online courses by joining today. It’s free! Learn more here.


Full transcript (unedited)

the main point I’m gonna be making today is if you really want to know what you believe in don’t listen to your thoughts or feel your feelings you’ve got to watch your behavior and this is actually a great way to understand other people’s beliefs as well better than they themselves understand them here’s the amazing thing that we see with Google and Facebook algorithms the artificial intelligence it’s constantly monitoring us it’s getting to the point like you’ve all her areas where it knows us better than we know ourselves because it’s not clouded by our minds it only watches our behavior and it’s knows from our behavior what we truly want and desire and believe and that’s why the ads you see on Facebook are so well tuned to you most of the time because Facebook knows you or is getting to know you probably better than you know yourself this is only the beginning it’s only going to get far more extreme to the point where I’m actually scared that will become slaves to the internet as it gets to know us better than ourselves and can learn to control our minds one of the reasons I wanted to bring this up today is an interesting point I saw her in a comedy sketch by Doug Stanhope about religion and this is this videos not a dig at religion it’s just a point I’m trying to make where he says if you believe that God has a master plan that can’t be changed and that when you die you’re going to a place of eternal bliss where you’ll be with your family and your friends for all time and that we know suffering and everything will be awesome why do you wear a seat belt and I think that’s one of the best questions somebody’s ever asked that’s not really a question about religion it’s a question about our beliefs why is it that we engage in behaviors that contradict the beliefs that we think we have think about how often you’ve thought of yourself as a nice person there’s a lovely person I’m the kindest person and then you do something unkind you take revenge on someone you cut someone off in traffic you steal an opportunity away from someone you heard someone deliberately how do you explain that behavior if the belief is that you’re a kind person how to explain that contradictory behavior if you really believe that God’s master plan cannot be changed there’s nothing you can do to save yourself it’s all up to God why bother wearing a seatbelt this is the kind of thing that we need to face because if ultimately philosophy is love of wisdom in self-development as a philosophy of yourself it’s learning to know yourself so that you can love yourself you can’t love a false representation of yourself and hope to end up being a truly confident person integrity first you have to know what you really are and the way to know that is to know where your real beliefs are and the way to know that is to watch your behavior and work backwards from that to figure out what the belief must be for example if I believe that I want to be a healthy person and that I want to be in good shape and take good care of myself and yet I constantly see evidence of myself eating unhealthy foods avoiding exercise taking drugs like alcohol what is my real belief if we were to say that my behavior is the only true evidence what must the belief be it can’t be that I want to be healthy or maybe I do want it but it can’t be that that’s what I’m actually going to do because I’m not doing it so what is the belief well if I was to see someone behaving in that way and it wasn’t me I wasn’t attached to the thoughts and feelings they have or I could only watch them I’d have to say that person prefers instant gratification and feeling good right now over being healthy because they constantly make decisions they line up with that the person prefers to be drunk and healthy they prefer to feel the satisfaction of a stomach full of sugar than be healthy they prefer to be immersed and lazy than be physically fit the behavior scissor or at least in this moment that’s not to say they don’t have conflicting beliefs that go back and forth as to what they want at any given time sometimes the exercise sometimes they don’t so there’s clear evidence of conflicting beliefs beliefs fighting against each other but the only way we’ll know what those beliefs are is to watch the behavior to watch the conflict play out in actions so if you’re trying to get to know yourself one of the the biggest difficulties is going to be believing your thoughts about what you believe or even worse thinking that you choose your beliefs I want you to try something and please nobody sue me for making the suggestions it’s totally up to you I accept no liability I want you to choose not to believe in gravity though here too not to believe in gravity choose to believe instead that you can fly like an angel go ahead choose that belief if you can choose beliefs go ahead choose that belief and then go jump off a high roof go for it if you can choose your beliefs you should have no problem adjusting your belief and gravity to a belief that you can fly like an angel and go jump off a roof I feel quite safe and knowing that nobody watching this video is going to do it and if they are they were always going to do it anyway this video won’t make a difference because like the person putting on the seat belt no matter what you tell yourself you believe you can’t really choose a belief it chooses you you either believe something or you don’t I can tell myself all day long I believe in Santa Claus Santa Claus is real but it’s never gonna be true I don’t I can’t it’s like how some people I’ve had a few times in my life they’ve questioned what I believe in you know why don’t you believe in this why do you believe in that and the truth is I don’t know I can’t give them an art I mean I can give them a story that I have in my head explaining my beliefs to myself but the fact is I don’t really know where the sort of compelling evidence or case is being made for me to form these beliefs you can see it in social rules more than anything else you know if someone tells you that something is rude why do you believe that they’ll tell you a big story well it’s rude because this listen this the truth is they don’t know the truth is it’s their culture that they are raised and in the family rules and ethics are brought up with they were all subtle and indirect that had a huge influence on them a lot of what you believe not only is it contradicted by your behavior but you don’t know where it came from you can come up with an explanation that doesn’t make it true what I’m suggesting essentially is to go back and start with your behaviors and figure out who you are from what you do what’s your behavior and go what are the belief you know what belief is driving this behavior or what beliefs appear to be in conflict and whenever your thoughts pop up and say I believe in this and I believe in there say well is there evidence of my behavior for that belief or does the evidence conflicted or non-existent you know and to really challenge yourself you know I kind of [Music] balance the scales a little bit offeror olive branches so for the religious person who believes in God’s plan why do you put on a seat belt what’s your real belief if you’re putting on a seat belt and for the atheist who has any seeds that there is a reason to live a plan for the atheist who claims there is no God but when life goes really bad he can’t help but look up and go why who are you looking at what is the purpose of that behavior whenever I gets you know I consider myself to be an atheist my belief I tell myself I have is that I don’t believe in higher power or consciousness of the universe or anything like that really well it’s not that I don’t believe it Isis I don’t feel that any compelling evidence has been put forward to make me believe that just like there’s no evidence for Santa Claus or theories or even aliens I haven’t seen anything to say yeah well I guess I should believe that that’s the story I tell myself but when I have a really bad week and it just seems like wave after wave of bad luck coming it’s coming at me I occasionally look up I don’t know what I’m looking for I don’t know why up is the direction but sometimes I look up you know if I’ve had a lot of like a string of sort of unpleasant incidents happened to me in that story and my head comes up saying this is unfair I look up ago really really Who am I talking to but I know I’m not talking to myself that’s an externally projected expression I’m talking to something or someone else when I had those moments so I tell myself I don’t believe in any higher power and yet you catch me in an extreme moment can I seem to be reaching out for one so what do I really believe it’s more through this out there because I know you know a lot of us here specially as brojo members ultimately trying to figure out who we are and in order to do that you first have to be honest with yourself about what your beliefs most likely are and the way to figure that out is to watch what you do and let go of what you hope of means and look at the most likely logical reasonable rational explanation for that behavior that’s how you figure out who you are at least I think it is thanks so much for listening if you’re watching this later on youtube please subscribe and share this around help us build up our audience and keep the message out there and of course if any of you want to talk about this kind of stuff further you want some support with it you know in touch dan@brojo org I’ll see you guys next time tears

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

JOIN BROJO TODAY

Confidence | Clarity | Connection

No more people-pleasing, Nice Guy Syndrome, or confidence issues.

The BROJO community will make sure you achieve your goals and build your self-worth with the support of members and coaches from all over the world.