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How to Deal with Interruptions like a Pro

Dan Munro discusses strategies for handling interruptions during conversations, emphasizing the importance of staying calm, repeating the main point, and setting a respectful tone. He suggests the ‘plow and ignore’ method, ‘stop’ method, and ‘wait and restart’ method, while also highlighting the need for assertiveness, honesty, and respect in building meaningful connections and achieving personal growth.

 


 

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Full transcript (unedited)

You’re about to watch a video. That’s an excerpt of one of my online courses free sample, if you will. If you enjoy it, please get in touch dan@brojo.org Let me know what you think. Alright, let’s get tactical and talk about how to deal with interruptions like a pro interruption is a pretty classic evasive or defensive tactic that you are going to have to deal with. If you become a more confrontational boundary setting person, sometimes it’s done deliberately to try and sabotage your attempt to set the boundary. And other times the person just is reacting to their emotions, and they can’t help themselves. The best kind of mindset when it comes to dealing with interruptions is that it’s both the person is manipulating you, and they can’t help themselves from doing it. So you’re going to understand that it happens, but you’re not going to tolerate it happen. So this is not something that you need to get aggressive about, you’re not being punched. This isn’t something you need to defend yourself against. But it’s also something that you’re not going to allow to derail you, you’re going to be stronger than this, you got to remember, if you’re following the other principles, if you’re only keeping your confrontation to 30 seconds, there’s really no reason to interrupt you. And if you are really concise with the points you make, and you don’t meander or stack or do any of the other mistakes that we’ve talked about, they really have no good reason to interrupt you. Now, if you are making those mistakes, if you just want to stop talking and keep stacking on evidence, you making lots of different points, or whatever. And it’s actually quite fair for them to interrupt you, because you’re giving them too much to respond to. So make sure that you’re doing your half which is you keep it concise, you keep it on point, you keep it to one point, you get it done as quickly and as effectively as possible. And then you’ll know for sure that interruptions should not be tolerated. There’s three basic methods. And you can kind of pick and choose based on your personality type and what you prefer, as well as what’s going to work best in the context. The first is to plow and ignore. And that is you basically keep talking as if they haven’t interrupted, right, you just keep talking, look them in the eye. You don’t raise your voice or anything, you don’t do anything to acknowledge that they’re even interrupting, you just keep talking. Now maybe at the end that you have to say, look, obviously, you interrupted while I was talking. So I’ll say it one more time. But basically, you’re just dismissing the interruption altogether, it’s a very effective technique doesn’t mean that you’ll actually get hurt, because they may talk over you. But it’s one way of sort of showing that leadership frame, which is when I speak, you must respect me. And even if you don’t, I’m going to respect myself. So it doesn’t matter whether you cooperate or not. It’s particularly effective in a group setting. So if you bring up a point at a team meeting, and other people keep talking, you just keep your eyes on the person you’re talking to and do not stop. Don’t even acknowledge, don’t look away and lose the attention of the person you’re talking to, to stay on point and keep talking until it’s done. The next method again, very simple as you just stop is horribly and say you’re interrupting. Let me finish. You see this often in like political debates, or people in being interrogated on the news, where they just kind of go, I haven’t finished what I was saying, Stop interrupting. And if you can keep it calm. And you just say it as often as you need to say it. And again, you still don’t acknowledge any of the content of what they’ve said. They’re like, Yeah, but you did Bobo’s stop, you’re interrupting. You don’t say, yeah, we’ll talk about that later. Or that’s a fair point, I can’t believe you brought that up. You don’t address any of the stuff they bring up. It’s as if they’re just interrupting by blowing a horn. Like, you’re not actually going to try and address what the horn is saying. It should be the same with interruptions again, assuming that you’re being concise and following the other ground rules. With a stop method. It’s important, you just keep doing it. Every time they interrupt, stop, you’re interrupting me, let me finish, stop, you’re interrupting me, I’ll have to start again. He just keep doing it. Never raising your voice never getting more aggressive, never backing down. Just keep doing it. Keep doing it until they give up. The last one. And this is especially for people who like the more calm or passive form of confrontation, wait and restart. And that is, as soon as someone interrupts you stop talking completely. But you also kind of zone out, you don’t pay attention to what they’re saying you don’t look them in the eye. You don’t give them any sense that you’re listening. You wait for them to completely stop. And then as if they’ve said nothing at all. You said, Well, you interrupted me. So I’m going to restart what I said. And then you start again from the beginning. And again, you do this as often as you need to. What you show is that them interrupting is actually a waste of their time that you’ll let them do it. But you’re going to wait even longer and then you’re just going to restart and you’re still not going to acknowledge anything they say you’re not going to be pulled off track from your original purpose. And you have to repeat this so as soon as you start talking again, if they switches interrupt you stop, look away. Wait for that first go. Okay, you interrupting me again. So I’ll start over here. Keep doing this. It’s almost patronizingly annoying, but what you’re showing them as I don’t tolerate this, but I’m not going to fight you all. You want to waste our time. I’ll get time to waste. I’ll wait for you there. That’s the message you’re giving them. But in no way do you acknowledge what they actually said, overall, you just got to keep calm, like you’re dealing with a child who’s having a tantrum, someone who can’t help themselves. But also someone who’s got more to lose the new. Keep thinking to yourself, I can wait a lot longer than you kid, I can keep coming back making my point talking over you, whatever it is I need to do, I can do it more than you care. I won’t rise to the bait and get aggressive or start talking about the things that you’ve brought up. I’ll just keep repeating myself, I’ll just stay on track as if you’re not doing this. And let’s see who can last the longest. I know I’ve already said this. But I’ve got to emphasize it do not respond to anything they bring up when they interrupt you. Do not acknowledge it, do not even reflect it. Don’t give them any breath. It’s as if all they did was make noises that don’t make sense. Don’t ever allow that to be pulled off track show that you never get interrupted because you are concise. And then when they speak, you don’t interrupt them. Of course, this must go both ways. What you’re going to do is set the tone like when we have a conversation, one person speaks and the other one listens. And you can fight against that all you want, but I can last longer than you care. I’m going to make this happen. And as a last resort, you might say something like look, this is only going to take me 30 seconds to say and then you’ll have your turn so be patient. Are you a nice guy or people pleaser who wishes they were more assertive, more honest, and better respected by others. Since 2013, I’ve been helping people just like you discover their integrity and apply it courageously. To build deeper, meaningful connections, get respected by others, and become the confident person you’ve always wanted to be. In being able to speak your mind without worrying what other people will think or worrying that it’s the right thing to say. And being able to assertively stand up for yourself and your loved ones. Imagine never feeling the need to apologize for who you are or what you want. And being able to live carefree. Without shame or the I’m not good enough story in your head. Imagine going to bed knowing that you courageously took every opportunity available to you and you’ve got no regrets. Because you always know what you should be doing in every situation. I’m so confident in my ability to help people like you unleash your highest level of self worth, that I give people a free coaching session to test what I’m doing. In this one hour session, we will uncover the biggest barrier to your confidence. Whether it’s an awareness problem, you don’t know what you should be doing differently, or it’s a courage problem, you know what you should be doing, but you find it too intimidating, I will guide you to make a breakthrough with your behavior to get through that barrier in a powerful way without feeling terrified. And without destroying everything you love. I’ve had some people find this first session so powerful that I never hear from them again, simply because they didn’t need anything more after that. It launched them into the highest level of confidence that they’ve ever experienced. If that’s the result, you get on good with that one client put it, this session was more valuable to me than three years of therapy combined. So if you’re tired of trying to keep everybody happy, and you’re sick of worrying what other people think of you, and you’re concerned that your people pleasing and conflict avoidance is going to damage your relationships, then come and have a talk with me. Worst case scenario, you get to experience what it’s like to talk with someone who actually understands what it’s like to be you. I’ve lived the nice guy experience for decades. I know it inside and out. I know that pain day scenario, and very likely, you will have such a powerful insight into a behavioral change that you can make in the next 24 hours to significantly improve your confidence, relationships and career. I ask that you be honest, open to change and willing to try something new. Why wait another 10 years to discover confidence when you can do it today. Fill out the brief form below to apply for a trial coaching session to do this quickly, because there are limited spots each month and then I’ll get back to book in a time to talk

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Thanks for reading

Hope to speak to you soon

Dan Munro

 

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