How to be radically honest without raising Green Flags for narcissists

One of the Brojo crew mentioned to me that he’s learning about this thing called “green flags”, which refers to signs that narcissists use to identify an easy victim.

This makes it difficult for him to understand the difference between being radically honest and oversharing. I guess one of the green flags involves putting yourself in a vulnerable position by disclosing too much personal information that can be used against you.

Thankfully, there’s a simple tactic to avoid oversharing and avoid getting pulled in by a narcissist. And that is to insist on reciprocation.

Those of you who have read my book The Naked Truth or done my Powerful Honesty Course will know that Reciprocation is the fifth principle of powerful honesty. Reciprocation means to balance the investment in the relationship, ensuring that you are both equally honest and vulnerable with each other (preventing the possibility of being used). It’s about respect.

Practically speaking, that means during an interaction you share one thing, and one thing only, as concisely as possible, and then you demand that they share equally vulnerably in return before you share anything more.

If you find that the information is going one way and they’re not taking their turns or they’re responses are facetious, like a game of tennis with only one person hitting the ball, then at the very least they’re an undersharer and you should move on.

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One Response

  1. Another key method to avoid narcissists is to always call out any uncomfortable emotions you’re having about them, especially if you feel manipulated, e.g. “I feel like you’re flattering me too much”

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