Nice Guy Syndrome is all about control—controlling the emotions of others so that he can feel comfortable, secure, and safe in the relationship.

He’ll be so supportive that she never actually gets a chance to learn how to manage her own emotions, sort out her finances, or handle whatever it is he uses to maintain his necessary position in her life.

There’s even a good chance she was more stable and independent before the relationship.

Over time, she becomes more needy, less capable, more dependent on him, and so on.

He does this in a number of ways: he’ll take problems off her hands, solve them even when she hasn’t asked, and try to clear the way for her—make her life as easy as possible.

He’s always cheering her up or calming her down, so whenever she gets outside the range of emotions he’s comfortable with, he immediately goes to work trying to bring her back into that range, rather than allowing her to process them naturally.

This gradually gives her the impression that she can’t actually manage her own emotions—kind of shaming her and gaslighting her into believing that without him, she’d be an absolute mess.

All the while, he maintains this calm persona—a kind of superiority—like he’s always the one who’s got his shit together.

Now, of course, they were attracted to each other in the beginning, which means they’re both quite damaged.

Their unhealthiness found its match.

Confident people are repulsed by these kinds of dynamics.

To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here: