I am quite blunt and somewhat ruthless in my content sometimes, because I really don’t believe that nice guys need compassion and a pat on the back and a hug.

I think they need a slap in the face.

That brutal wake-up call.

That slap in the face that says: you’re wasting your life. Stop. Reassess.

Change your behaviour.

The only way I changed was somebody pointing out that I was manipulative, that I was weak, that I wasn’t living the way I knew I should be, constantly—and that it wasn’t even working. It wasn’t even a good strategy.

Being made to realize that I was manipulative—particularly that one—slapped me in the face.

Because it was the opposite of what I told myself I was.

I told myself I was a good person.

When I saw that I was actually a controlling person, I realized: I don’t want to be that person anymore.

I’d already had a lot of shame about not being boldly sexual in the dating game, and not standing up for myself or other people in times of conflict. And, I just realized: I don’t like the guy that I’m being.

People pleasers actually have massive potential once they get out of their insecurity and stop trying to win everyone over—because they do come from a deep, genuine place of kindness.

It’s like a mutated type of kindness that’s coming out of them. If they can add assertiveness and honesty to their kindness, then they’re the full product.

To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here: