When I was really struggling with women, I started doing the pickup artist thing, which was essentially a deep dive into dishonesty.

I learned how to manipulate and deceive women into liking me. I mean, every guy was kind of doing this anyway, but they just weren’t framing it like that.

Everyone was doing their own basic version of seduction.

I just decided I was going to go all in on being manipulative.

I wasn’t even going to pretend I wasn’t doing anything else. I wasn’t going to pretend I was being real.

In doing that—and I did that experiment for quite some time—I found it really unappealing. Even when a girl liked me and slept with me, after the first few ego boosts, I started to realize: “This isn’t how I want it to happen. I’m really not cool with this. This doesn’t actually feel like I’ve made progress”.

In going all in on dishonesty, I came to the realization that I really do value honesty.

I’d rather not have a girl like me and be honest, than have a girl like me for being dishonest. I learned that about myself—I went all in on the other side: I went all in on honesty instead, and that’s where I’ve been ever since.

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