So, how do you make changes for a healthier and more secure relationship?

The term you’re looking to explore is interdependence.

Essentially, it means you’re both independent—you don’t need each other to get through life, solve your problems, or have your needs met.

However, you can rely on each other and cooperate to enhance your lives and do what makes sense for the health of the relationship.

For the fixer, this means shifting your focus off your partner and putting it onto yourself—sorting out your own issues instead of constantly trying to control them.

It means getting your own needs met.

Pursue hobbies.

Build friendships.

Let your partner have their emotions without trying to manage them.

Set boundaries to they’re responsible for sorting out their own stuff instead of dumping everything on you.

Put simply, you become more of a cheerleader than a coach—you encourage them to work through their own challenges rather than telling them how to do it.

To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here: