Take a moment to think: what was she originally attracted to you for?

Who were you at the beginning?

Even if you were faking it, it’ll give you a sense of at least some of the traits that worked for her.

And then—how did you change?

What became less?

What became more?

What stopped?

What started?

Have a look at those differences.

Because whether you did these things consciously or not, the main differences I notice between the start of a relationship—say, the first 3 to 6 months—and the next 10 years are the following:

Taking the lead and risking rejection.
In the beginning phase, a guy is far more likely to make suggestions, come up with ideas, organize events, decide what’s happening for the two of you—and risk her disagreeing, saying no, and so on.

That same guy, 10 years later, is always the one asking his wife, “What should we do today? What are your plans?”

He’s become the follower instead of the leader, and that dynamic has shifted.

Doing things for yourself without asking permission.
It’s quite natural at the start of the dating phase to already have your own life going, and then to slowly integrate her into that life.

So, you had your martial arts class, your Sunday golf with your mates, your Saturday night dinner with the family—and you kept those things up.

She had to fit into that.

But as she became more embedded in your life, you started swapping those things out for her preferences—which, if you pay close attention (especially with a healthy woman), she didn’t actually ask you to do.

To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here: