I’m torn when I get criticism.
On one hand, I don’t want to spend my time defending myself, especially when doing so goes against my principles and is not of any benefit to the people I’m trying to help. I resent myself for even being affected by this stuff.
On the other hand, I don’t feel comfortable letting people disrespect me, or there’s always the chance that I might be able to help someone who simply got a skewed first impression of me.
I consider myself to be someone who works very fucking hard to make life better for people, so I do get a bit frustrated when people come at me like I’m doing harm.
So I’ve written this post for the critics so that I can ensure that if you do disagree with me, it’s at least for a good reason.
Note: for a few of you, provoking me was your main motivation. I hope it’s more satisfying than it appears to be. If trolling is the main reason you’ve come to my attention, I weep for you.
I sincerely hope your criticism has come from a more valuable place than that.
1) You always disagree with me
Many of you are what I call “contrarians”. You’ve often disagreed with me before, in fact a majority of your responses are critical. It’s like you’re wired to resist as a first response, or you have a narrow niche of things you agree with and are repulsed by my view.
Now, I can totally understand someone disagreeing with a lot of my views, even all of them. But what I can’t get my head around is why you’re still here? I’ve personally never continued to follow and heckle someone I disagree with, I just move away from them.
If a majority of what I express rubs you the wrong way, please – for both our sakes – just move on. Find someone else to follow.
There are plenty of other views out there. You’ll find that anything that promotes results over integrity, for example, probably runs contrary to my philosophy. Or Red Pill stuff. Or feminism/woke stuff. Or anything old-school that thinks psychology is just bullshit and emotions are weak. Go find that stuff and get more value than you get from me.
2) You’ve reacted strongly to a tiny piece of information
Some of you aren’t familiar to me, and my first awareness of you is your criticism. I’ve found in general that strangers that come out of the blue swinging on me have very little awareness of what I actually do or stand for.
I won’t play the “you have to read all my shit first” card, but I would implore you to familiarize yourself a little bit at least before you come at me like an enemy. Any one of these pieces of content will give you a good taste of what I stand for and believe and promote.
So please, view at least ONE of these before you come to a final conclusion about me:
An example of me coaching someone: https://theinspirationallifestyle.com/confidence-coaching-session-chris-faces-the-dark-truth-about-nice-guy-syndrome/
An example of my philosophy: https://theinspirationallifestyle.com/the-greatest-life-lessons-ive-ever-learned/
An example of my political views: https://theinspirationallifestyle.com/roe-vs-wade-the-real-problem/
An example of my personal story: https://theinspirationallifestyle.com/livestream-my-life-as-a-nice-guy/
An example of my practical advice: https://theinspirationallifestyle.com/podcast/how-to-build-healthy-relationships/
An example of my business practices/ethics: https://theinspirationallifestyle.com/8-years-of-coaching-my-top-tips/
An example of me appearing as a guest for someone else: https://theinspirationallifestyle.com/podcast/radical-honesty-as-the-path-to-bulletproof-confidence/
If you went through any one of these in full and still hate me, then fair enough. Otherwise, you don’t know enough to criticize with any validity.
3) You worry that I’m a fraud / scam artist
If you genuinely think I’m engaging in fraudulent practices, contact your local authorities or law practice and file charges against me. If I’m a fraud, I’m sure a solid investigation would uncover evidence of such. I welcome the search and have no secrets.
I’ve even had unfavorable media coverage in the past. You’re welcome to check it out here: https://www.rnz.co.nz/news/the-wireless/373873/no-more-mr-nice-guy
And feel free to check out the YouTube comments section of any of my more controversial videos to see what people who don’t like me have to say. I don’t delete any comments unless they threaten me or my family directly.
A great many of my current and former clients can be found within the Brojo community that I co-created with Mike Wells. You have my full permission to ask any of them to speak with you privately and share their experiences honestly: https://www.facebook.com/groups/brojoworldwide
I have created literally thousands of hours of content that I give away freely to the public through YouTube and my podcast and my blog. I don’t use ads or ask for donations. It’s freely given (though I’m aware that it does act as a form of marketing by giving value).
I am running a business to make a liveable profit. That means that some of my services and products are for sale, namely my coaching, my online courses, my books, and my Brojo Gold membership service. If you think that anyone making money from helping others is automatically a fraud, then I don’t know what to tell you. My family has to eat and I want to do this work full time.
People who enroll into my coaching are first given one or two trial sessions, completely free of charge with no obligation or sales. They are then given space to decide for themselves if they’d like to continue with paid coaching. I don’t ask or sell, I wait for them to do so, and move on if they don’t. The coaching is a monthly subscription model that they can quit at any time – I rarely do long-term commitments, and even then I don’t hold people to any legal obligation – even if they quit and owe me money, I just move on.
All online courses, books, and memberships come with a full refund policy. No questions asked: if people are even a little dissatisfied with the value, they are encouraged to ask for their money back with no questions or guilt tripping attached.
So there you have it
I don’t know what else to tell you. I don’t conflate genuine disagreement with “haters”. If you’ve been sent this, it’s because your reaction seemed in some way unreasonable to me.
I welcome any response to this, however I will not invest time in a pointless online argument. If you don’t like me, don’t follow me or recommend me to anyone. Block me or whatever you need to do and let’s both move on.
Finally, if the reason you’ve critiqued me is that you see me as some sort of threat – like you think my ideas are crazy and harmful or that you think I’m a wannabe cult leader etc. – then I welcome you to create your own content debunking me or warning other people away from me. I’ll even share it with my audience. I welcome free speech and encourage you to speak your mind. Get it off your chest properly instead of swiping at me in the comments section or privately.
This is a very courageous post Dan. Well done on taking a stance against trolls and naysayers.
You definitely stand out for being an authentic, honest, respectful and trustworthy coach/mentor/authority in your field.
THanks mate, good to know not everyone hates me 😉