If you find that your dating life is boring, your sex life is boring—if you’re surrounded by men or tend to attract men like this—there’s also work that you need to do.

For a guy to be healthy and masculine, he needs to be with a healthy feminine.

If you’re constantly taking control, not allowing him to make mistakes, not waiting for him to lead, but just dominating, that’s your own stuff that you need to work on—control issues.

Perhaps you’re attracted to guys who are passive and safe because of your own risk-averse issues.

Both of you have stuff to work on, but I’ll talk about what he needs to work on because that’s my specialty.

The first thing you’ve got to understand is he’s not a grown man.

He’s a scared teenage boy in a grown man’s body.

You’re dealing with a teenage psyche here.

He’s too scared of getting it wrong, and he’s gotten it wrong many times before in the past, which is why he’s scared of it.

Give him explicit instructions on what to do to be the masculine man that you want.

That’s only part of it, because now you’re still leading.

However, at least now he’ll know what leadership looks like in your eyes.

He’ll have an idea of it.

This will probably create a confrontation where he’ll tell you why he shouldn’t have to do that, but that’s the start of a good conversation in the long term—to unpack the psychology behind this.

To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here: