Most of your confidence problems come down to a simple decision-making error: you spend time in “maybe’. This is the dead purgatory-like space between options, where you’re neither yes nor no.
Confident people go all in or all out as quickly as possible – commonly referred to as Hell Yes and Hell No. In this video, we explain why you need to do that.
There is a meta-level to this message. You’ll notice that the video and sound quality is poorer than usual. You’ll notice that I had to hide someone’s spammy comment with some writing because I didn’t know how to remove it from the recording. You might get a sense that I’m still figuring out what the fuck I’m doing with this whole Twitch thing, and not completely comfortable with it.
The reason it’s more crappy than my other material (which was never first-rate anyway), is because I went Hell Yes on using Twitch without spending much time figuring out how to do it perfectly. In this video, I’m hoping to not only preach but live the message I’m delivering.
Despite my many confidence problems growing up, hesitating on big decisions was never really one of them. I’ve since learned this is a common problem for most people – being stuck in “maybe” rather than just taking a risk and going for it.
I completely switched over from doing a Communications Degree to doing an Extended Major in Psychology simply because I enjoyed ONE psychology lecture. I finished writing my first book just one month after first thinking “I should write a book”. I started latin dancing as a long-term hobby because my flatmate once casually asked me to come to a salsa class. I quit my job to start my coaching business after one session with my coach who said “I think you’re ready”. I moved to Czech Republic after a single conversation with my mrs about where to live.
While this might look like impulsive, all of these quick-fire decisions have significantly upgraded my quality of life, while decisions that I took lots of time to ponder did not.
Taking a long time to ask out girls I was attracted to created a 4-year drought with no love whatsoever. I estimate that procrastinating on finally facing up to my finances cost me more than $200K in lost opportunities and bad spending. Constantly waiting for my injuries to completely heal before I workout is the main reason I’ve never seen my abs.
Confident decision-making isn’t wildly impulsive but it is quick and assertive, with no looking back. The way to be this decisive is to remove Maybe as an option. You’re either all in within 10mins of thinking about it, or you back away completely and kill any fantasy of ever doing it.
Try this approach – you’ll feel how confident it is within a few attempts.
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