When we ask what does a confident person look like when it comes to setting and enforcing strong boundaries to guarantee self-respect, there’s one factor that stands out:
They can handle a BAD reaction.
If you’re still reading this email series, odds are you’re someone who struggles with the blow ups, guilt-trips, accusations, crocodile tears, and other manipulative reactions to you trying to assert yourself.
Confident people not only directly state and enforce their boundaries, they are unreactive in the face of bad reactions.
They hold the line, refusing to negotiate on their principles and boundaries.
Respecting them isn’t up for debate.
They aren’t tricked and swayed by tears, shouts, tricky questions, articulate witty points, or threats.
They apply simple yet effectively mature mindset and behaviour techniques to hold their ground against these attacks, as I talk about in this video:
How to Manage Manipulative Counterattacks
This stuff really does work in real life!
“Amazing course. It has helped me set good boundaries, and I have started implementing the ideas presented. They are worth it. The instructor was very wise”
– Humayun Omar“Game changer! This course has boosted my confidence and improved my relationships. I’m excited to continue using the approaches presented.”
– Katelyn Heaton“As I was going through this course, a situation in my private life presented itself with a difficult person. I was able to focus on my principles and values, how I wanted to be in the world, and which example I wanted to set—this included notifying the person of my decisions (rather than asking for permission) and following through with my actions—gracefully, peacefully, but also assertively and confidently.”
– VC
I was terrified of confrontation for the first 25 years of my life. My throat would close up at just the thought of someone being mad at me.
It took me many years to work through these emotional barriers and learn the most effective way to protect myself from manipulation, and respect myself with boundaries.
You can learn this too. Anyone can!
But it will require practice, training, and making mistakes. You will get it wrong before you get it right.
There is no quick fix. You will be uncomfortable.
And it will be SO worth it.
NEXT: The complete system for developing assertiveness, setting boundaries, and respecting yourself.