Can nice guys attract a woman?

A question about Nice Guys I see asked a lot is, can a nice guy actually attract a woman?

Do guys with nice guy syndrome actually have dating experiences and get into relationships?

The answer is of course they do, but not all of them. Only a certain type.

Most nice guys struggle when it comes to dating and relationships. They end up in the friendzone a lot because they are sexually passive and too afraid of rejection to lead an escalation beyond platonic connection.

But there’s a certain type of nice guy I often coach who is what you might call a “serial monogamist”. They have one relationship after another and they are rarely single.

Sometimes these relationships are an outright obvious disaster (nice guy monogomists tend to attract users and abusers). But also sometimes tthese relationships might even feel “good” for most of the time, but they inevitably fall apart in the long term (this happens when the nice guy finds another people pleaser).

What’s different about these guys?

Well for a start, sometimes they’re just physically attractive enough that women will approach them and do all the initiating and heavy lifting to get something to happen.

But mostly, it’s because they’re good at “love bombing” and fawning in just the right way at the beginning. They don’t have such rejection fears, so they can initiate conversation and ask girls on dates, and generally just make her feel good about herself.

They can even appear to be that White Knight type hero that gives her hope that she’s finally found a good man. There’s a certain type of girl who’s looking for that.

So this type of nice guy will be very pleasing and sometimes even exciting and thrilling at the beginning, with a woman who’s basically got serious mental health issues of her own (i.e. either narcissistic or a people pleaser or wounded and desperate for love), and then he kind of reels her in that way.

These guys may appear to be “successful” with dating, in that they end up married and are rarely single, but I can tell you from experience that they’ll eventually end up needing to work with someone like me when it all comes crashing down.

For more on this topic, check out my video “How to fix Nice Guy relationships”:

2 Responses

  1. In a way, it’s worse for these guys because it takes them much longer to realise they have a problem – chronically single guys are aware from a young age!

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