As one person once said to me, “Become the guy you hope your daughter brings home one day.”

That gave me a lot to think about.

I sat down and thought, “Well, who would that guy be?”

I didn’t want him to be a people pleaser—I wouldn’t want my daughter to go for that, right?

I also didn’t want him to be all flashy or overly focused on money and superficial stuff.

There were a lot of things I didn’t want. But what did I want?

What would make me feel relief, like, “Oh my God, she found a good one”?

I had to unpack that.

He’s not just a nice guy.

He’s generous, genuine, and helpful, but he’s got a spine.

He’ll protect her.

He’ll protect himself.

He’ll be a good father.

There are all these things.

Then I thought, “If I look at my patterns of behaviour—not what I tell myself I am, but what I actually did today, yesterday, last week, and last year—what I frequently do on an average day—how does that compare to that guy?”

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