You’re looking for people who share your values, and then you ask the question: Where would someone with these values go?
You might value honesty.
So, you try Toastmasters, and maybe the particular group you’re in is more superficial, trying to put on a good show rather than speaking the truth.
Then you go to a different Toastmasters group in another part of town, and they’re really vulnerable and honest.
Maybe you go to a men’s group or something similar, and then you start finding these honest people.
So, know your values before you start trying to socialize.
Otherwise, you’ll default to some bullshit criteria list that someone else probably conditioned you to have, or that many thousands of people have conditioned you to have. It’s a distraction—it doesn’t actually give you good criteria for finding the right people.
Get out there and experiment as much as possible.
Try lots of things.
Meet people while you’re there, and be as openly yourself with them as you can.
This will quickly be answered for you in real time.
To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here:
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If you make integrity the primary motive, and socializing the secondary, you’re actually more likely to meet good people
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