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Are you refusing to accept reality?

When a bee stings you, do you get mad at it for being a bee?

Maybe you do. Some people do. Yet it’s just doing what a bee should do. If you’re mad at it, then you’re the one with the problem. You’re the naïve one. Bees sting people when you stand on them. It’s a well known fact.

What about when someone cuts you off in traffic? Or when your toddler throws a screaming fit in the supermarket? Or when your boss fails to pay you on time?

Do you get mad at them for being humans?

Probably. I do sometimes.

And yet nothing they’re doing is strange or unusual. None of it is bizarre behaviour for a human.

Now, this doesn’t mean you should tolerate poor behavior. It doesn’t mean that you should just welcome the bee’s sting.

But try to understand that a lot of your suffering comes from refusing to accept that this is reality, that this is how people act and this is what bees do.

Notice how much of your suffering is around thoughts like, “Why did this happen?” or, “This shouldn’t have happened”, or even more likely, “Why me?!”

As Mark Manson would say, “Why NOT you?”

It happened. That means it was supposed to happen. That’s all you can be sure of. Anything about it that you don’t understand is due to your lack of knowledge, not because of some problem with reality.

If you can accept that, it really doesn’t hurt so much.

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One Response

  1. You can override the victim questions in your head by asking yourself, “What’s the healthiest way to deal with this problem?”

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