It’s time to get a little confrontational and uncomfortable…

Being in the world of self-development for nearly 20 years, I’ve seen it all. 

There are those who binge on books and courses, putting almost none of it into action but feeling like they’re making progress because of all the new information in their heads.

There are those who worship this guru or that, becoming devotees of a single methodology, to the point of abandoning all reason and sanity.

There are the keyboard warriors who spout advice and criticism online all day long, but are hypocrites who don’t model any honorable behaviour themselves.

Yes, there are plenty of frauds and posers and wannabes and deluded souls in the self development space. I’ve spent time being each of these types myself, so I’m not judging! 

But today there’s just one I want to talk to, one type I’ve never been… 

The freebie addict.

Is this you?

A Freebie Addict is someone who’s enthusiastically into self-development, but avoids paying money for anything. They download the email opt-in gifts, grab the free samples, sign up for the trials, accept the free first session, but then bail out when it comes time to part with cash.

You’re probably also a mix of all of the above. You binge on content. You are devoted to your favourite influencers and talking heads. You have so much to preach about the right way to live.

And yet there’s a recurring pattern in your self development journey: you almost never pay for anything.

This might not reflect the other areas of your life. I’ve personally seen plenty of people who will dig their heels in when it comes to paying for coaching and yet will happily spend the exact same amount of money on alcohol, sex workers, clothing, and video games.

And this doesn’t apply only to people who are genuinely broke either. Many of the people I’m referring to in this piece do have disposable cash, or could create some if they were willing to give up luxuries and unnecessary comforts.

As a coach, I’ve become accustomed to people like this. I’m pretty generous with my content, and on top of the mountains of free videos and podcasts I’ve put out, I’m also more than willing to give away my paid courses, books, and even 1:1 coaching for free.

I expect nothing in return for these gifts. I feel rewarded for simply living by my values. Giving stuff away is also a solid marketing technique. I often refuse offers from people to pay for these gifts because I don’t want to taint the giving intent. So I don’t get upset when I notice people abusing this generosity. 

But I do notice them…

They’re often quite time-intensive audience members. They email me a lot, ask loads of questions, comment on posts frequently, and generally come to my attention often.

But as the years roll by, I’ll notice that they never really invest in anything.

The $1 Test

I once ran an experiment to test this idea. I had a little Brojo in-person meetup group going at the time, and I introduced a new paid option for this group: a whopping $1 per month.

I had a hypothesis: the amount of money wouldn’t matter; there were some people who just wouldn’t pay anything even when they easily could.

Sure enough, a few of the most active, vocal, and high maintenance members of the group disappeared immediately. Despite these same people often claiming they found the group and my work highly valuable, apparently “valuable” meant it’s only worth 99c or less! $1 was simply too much of a stretch.

Why I Qualify for Investment

One of my qualifiers for screening new potential coaching clients is to check that they’ve invested financially in self-development before. It doesn’t need to be much; just the symbolic act of allowing money to leave their pockets in exchange for value from a self-development resource.

I’ve learned the hard way I need to qualify hard for this trait. Time and again I’ve found myself over-investing for free in a Freebie Addict because I didn’t appreciate the significance of someone showing they will risk their cash to work on themselves.

While I don’t believe the typical coach bullshit that people need to pay vast sums of money to “show up” to coaching (I’ve seen plenty of my payment-plan or sponsorship clients put in the hard work just as much as anyone), I do believe that Freebie Addicts are nearly incapable of real change.

The 4 Types of Freebie Addicts

My theory is Freebie Addicts fall into one of four categories:

Cheapskates

These people are everywhere in the world; misers who simply don’t want to part with cash for any reason. Self development is just another space where they refuse to pay.

These are the types that actively try to trick me into giving stuff away (like using multiple email addresses to contact me), or carefully wait for giveaways to apply for things, or pirate content online.

They will actually give me shit for being slow to get back to them etc. as if they’re a paying client. I once found my courses on a pirate website, and someone had actually given me a bad review there! I’m like, “Dude, did you just give me shit for something you stole from me??”

These people, frankly, suck balls, and I want nothing to do with them.

Information Junkies

These people don’t pay because at some level they know they’re not going to do anything useful with the information. They’re too comfortable playing at self-development.

They like the feeling of promising themselves they’re going to change; the dopamine rush of having insights with the complacent comfort of knowing they won’t have to engage in difficult actions. They don’t bother paying because they know there won’t be a return on investment.

Toxic Shame Sufferers

The reason they don’t pay for anything is because deep down they don’t believe they’ll get a return on their investment. They see themselves as the problem – they believe in the content and coaches, but think of themselves as hopeless.

They’re hoping the free stuff will somehow magically create some kind of result that will give them faith in themselves, and then they’ll invest. Many people in this category do become paying clients after bingeing on my free content for a few months.

I feel deep sympathy for these types, but I’m also frustrated they don’t realise that investing in themselves will improve their self-respect.

Lone Wolves

The “independent” go-getter type who can turn shit into gold. These people rarely pay because they’re actually adept at converting low quality and free material into measurable improvements.

They will get the free download workout PDF and actually go do it every day for 30 days; they will stop at the end of each chapter of the giveaway ebook and actually apply the insights; they will take a free coaching session and immediately change their daily habits.

They see no point in paying because they’re so good at getting shit done. These Wolves are very rare (you’re probably NOT one of them) and they’re the only type of Freebie Addict to get real results without investment. Well, more accurately: they invest time, energy, effort and courage instead of cash.

So what’s the problem?

If you’re a Cheapskate or an Information Junkie, there’s nothing I can do for you. The chickens will come home to roost. You will learn the hard way the error of your penny pinching. 

Either you’ll fill your head with information that’s essentially worthless because you don’t know how to apply it, causing you to become a toxic overthinker who’s endlessly frustrated with the lack of growth in your life; or you’ll see over time that avoiding investing is worse than wasting money, and in the end you’ll lose significantly from opportunity cost.

You’ll see that free shit is usually low value, especially when you have a Freebie Addict mindset. Your stagnant growth is a direct result of your unwillingness to risk an investment.

If you are a Toxic Shame Sufferer, there’s hope for you. The first piece of work you need to focus on is learning to believe in yourself by creating a track record of small proven wins. You need to stop bingeing on content and start taking action, no matter how small, combined with measuring yourself fairly and kindly to start rewriting the “no hope” narrative that plagues you.  

Try starting with a tiny investment. Buy a book. There are online courses for less than $10 on most learning platforms. Join a workshop with a low entry fee.

Invest a little cash, and then bust your ass trying to actively apply what you learned there. Make something happen in real life with actual behaviour change. Make the investment worthwhile rather than hoping it will be.

And to the Lone Wolves, even you are missing out!

Sure, you’re used to making a lot from a little, and feel it would be pointless to pay someone else when you’re such a beast on your own. But as a fellow Wolf I promise you that you’re barely scratching the surface of your potential.

If this is what you can do with low-level free shit, just imagine the superior growth you could achieve if you got the good stuff!

My highest performing clients – the ones who make the biggest changes and end up capable of acts of confidence that less than 1% of the population can achieve – are either Toxic Shame Sufferers who built themselves up from the ground floor; or they’re Lone Wolves who finally dropped their ego and experimented with expert support; or they’re the kinds of people who willingly invest in their development and make the most of what they get out of it.

I’ve NEVER seen a Freebie Addict make progress better, faster, or more effectively than someone who invests in their growth financially.

As I’ve said, the amount of money is largely unimportant (though it should be an amount that makes you nervous). It’s the symbolic act of trading your hard-earned cash for self-development products and services; a leap of faith in your own ability to convert that investment into a return.

This is not some strategic pitch to try to convince someone to spend money with me. In fact, I recommend you spend your money elsewhere first just to prove to yourself that I haven’t conned you. I’m not here to hold your hand through the earliest stages of self-development – I only want to work with intermediate to advanced level practitioners who already understand the value of spending money on their own education and development.