It’s not anger that’s bad.

It’s reacting in an unhelpful way to anger that can be bad.

When I’m violent, when I throw a tantrum, or I scream and shout—or when I spiral into self-loathing and depression—that’s a reaction to anger.

That’s not anger itself.

Anger doesn’t get the blame for that.

One way to see this is to notice that there are people out there who feel anger—and don’t do any of that stuff.

There are parents who get angry with their kids but don’t hit them or yell at them.

So, hitting and yelling aren’t necessarily anger.

They’re a loss of control over anger, and that only happens when the anger is too big to control.

So, when is anger too big to control?

When you’ve been suppressing it—and it all comes out at once.

A day’s worth of anger, you can handle.

A month’s worth, a year’s worth—all coming out at the same time?

No human being on the planet can handle that much emotion.

And yet, that’s not anger’s fault.

Anger isn’t the reason you do fucked up things.

It’s because too much anger builds up, and then it all explodes.

However, if you let it out each time it came up, it would only ever be a small, manageable amount.

To dive deeper into this topic, check out the original video here: