An Open Letter to The Red Pill Community

Watch the video reading above, or read the letter in full below (includes citations)

Goodbye, from a critic

I’ve decided I need to let go of my resistance to The Red Pill. Like my issues with psychics, cash evangelists, and MLM schemes, it’s just not worth me getting worked up over anymore. So this is my goodbye.

I have a number of friends who are current or former subscribers to the Red Pill philosophy. They are, in general: kind, interesting, intelligent, and rational. I enjoy their company and our discussions on life, women, and confidence.

And whenever I bring up the flaws in the Red Pill theories and the frightening behaviour of some of the Red Pill community’s members, my friends always say something like, “Yeah, there are a few nasty characters and there is some stuff I don’t quite agree with, but it’s helped me a lot.”

Has it?

This raises a dilemma for me:

Why is it that every Red Piller I know continues to struggle with women?

Whether they’re a Pick Up Artist veteran who’s been running game for years, or a newly divorced father looking to get back out there, or a young virgin who just wants to bridge the gap between himself and women he finds attractive, they all have one thing in common: no matter how many Red Pills they swallow, they’re still unable to create and maintain a healthy relationship with a woman (or women, for the polygamists).

Now, I didn’t want to commit the same broadbrush fallacy that the Red Pill community is known for making: drawing massive global conclusions from individual anecdotal experiences. Maybe my friends are just the exceptions, and all the other Red Pillers are crushing life?

It was this dilemma that first drew my attention to the Red Pill community, with its forums, videos, books, blogs, and gurus. I wanted to know: Why are so many guys singing its praises without the results to justify such loyalty?

Sure, a few of them were finally getting laid or occasionally dating into the realm of a relationship, but even these guys still couldn’t seem to convince a healthy woman to stay in a relationship with them for any significant period of time without serious drama, and not for lack of trying.

Why not? I had to find out what was happening here because at first glance the Red Pill stuff seemed pretty legit. Work on yourself. Take responsibility for your life. Do Jordan Peterson’s self-authoring program. Get out there and meet women. Take control of your frame. Unleash your masculinity. Make male friends. Don’t be naïve about the risks.

Nothing immediately alarming there. Hell, I say a lot of the same things.

So I started looking a bit deeper, all the while sharing my early impressions and feedback through my YouTube channel and blog. Some of the things I wrote were naïve and premature, even to the point where I later removed the content, while other pieces were well thought out and extensively researched. But either way, I always got a very vocal response from Red Pill advocates.

And that’s when I started to meet the other guys in the community.

Enter the Hate

Cuck. Simp. Blue Piller. Insults in all caps. Threatening messages. Mockery and derision. Interspersed amongst rational and considered feedback, I started getting the hate-mail.

Ironically, I had always expected the worst responses I would get from my content and ideas would be from leftist/feminist types, whom I often criticize harshly[1], but it was indeed their counterparts who had the nastiest things to say to me.

This Red Pill community, on the surface, prides itself on rationality and reason. Yet their initial responses to disagreement are commonly irrational and unreasonable.

They promote courage yet hide behind anonymous internet avatars to deliver their insults. They claim to be scientific yet disagree using emotional mockery instead of facts. Many of them appear to prefer trolling rather than discussing.

My Red Pill friends constantly claim that these more hateful members of the community are just an unfortunate extremist niche who do not represent the whole. Yet within their insults, comments, and emails, I couldn’t find anything that did not accurately reflect the Red Pill ideals, rules, and community culture. Despite my friends’ protestations, these trolls represented Red Pill rather well.

You can only judge a society by its weakest members. If indeed these were the weakest, what does that tell us about The Red Pill? Why does it attract rather than repel such people? Why do the Red Pill principles align well with everything these damaged and possibly dangerous individuals rant about? Why do former members often and consistently complain about bullying, ostracism, and cruelty from their own community whenever they had the temerity to dissent?[2]

A poisoned well either poisons the drinkers or attracts those who prefer the taste of poison.

So after my first dive into the Red Pill well, I was left with two dilemmas instead of resolving the first one (why isn’t TRP helping my friends with women). Now I had another:

Why are so many Red Pill members psychologically unwell without showing any signs of improvement?

As the plot thickened, I looked even deeper.


As I perused Red Pill material, a theme quickly emerged, a claim so boldly made that it kind of takes your breath away: “All Women Are The Same.”

This AWATS “truth” is so well-established and accepted in Red Pill literature that their writers, vloggers, and podcasters never bother to prove it. All the information about female psychology and behaviour is pretty much always presented as all-encompassing. The language used almost never makes room for exceptions. It’s always, “Women are this…” and “Women do that…” and “All women want a…”.

Really? All of them?

This is a serious point, because the AWATS belief is the keystone to the entire Red Pill perspective on dating, relationships, sex and women. If all women are not the same, then the entire Red Pill catalogue is essentially misinformation built on a foundation of quicksand.

So, is this AWATS claim – which is almost never verified or cited in any Red Pill material – actually true? Because if not, I might have the answer for why my Red Pill buddies are still struggling in love.

First, let’s define “women.”

If we start at the most basic biological level, most people will think of XX (female) vs XY (male) chromosomes. Women are supposedly XX. But this isn’t strictly true.

Variations, including XXY and XXYY, occur on a frequent enough basis to be taken seriously (e.g. Klinefelter syndrome)[3]. Not to mention, all “men” start as biological females (that’s why we have nipples), before basically going through an in-utero transgender sex-change.[4] To say the X chromosome is “female” isn’t even accurate – it’s actually the life chromosome: we’d all die without it.

And of course, it goes without saying that women can have other physical differences from each other. Size, shape, age, genetic predispositions, other chromosomal arrangements, organ size and function… the list goes on and on.

Two “women” can be biologically and chromosomally different from each other. So already, we know that not all women are the same at the most basic physical level.

No wonder Red Pill never cites studies to prove this AWATS claim – there are no studies to cite, because it’s not true.

What Red Pill advocate may do next is back peddle and qualify this with a claim along the lines of: “Well most women are the same, especially in psychology and sexual relations, and that’s what matters,” or “The exceptions are rare enough to be discounted.”

Are they?

Let’s say you have a study that claims 87% of women are attracted to “bad boy types.” This kind of study is often vaguely referred to in Red Pill material (though almost never cited or sourced from reputable scientific journals or books). Then another study might say that 66% of women have rape fantasies. Then another study might claim that 95% of divorces are initiated by women. And so on.

Red Pillers provide such dubious studies – combined with vague references to what is clearly a poorly understood and cherry-picked version of evolutionary psychology – as proof that all women are the same. But even if such studies were valid and reliable (i.e. scientific), two questions remain unanswered:

  • What about the exceptions?
  • What if these aren’t the same women in each study?

What does Red Pill make of the 13% who find nice guys attractive, or the 34% that find rape abhorrent, or the 5% who were dumped by their husbands? If all women are indeed the same, who are these outliers?

And there’s an underlying assumption: that the same 87% of women attracted to bad boys are also the women who fantasize about rape and who just love to initiate divorces. What about the women who like bad boys but are disgusted by rape? What about the women who initiated divorce because they wanted a nicer guy?

What about the millions of exceptions?

How can you possibly promote a one-size-fits-all strategy to deal with such a wide variety of women? Because if you run study after study after study on the same group of women, you will start to see them diverge into ever-smaller groups and categories, until finally there are no categories – the exceptions whittle down to an individual level.

Run this thought-experiment in your head:

You bring together a group of 1,000 women, randomly selected from the public, and you ask them a series of binary yes/no question, like “Do you fantasize about rape?” and “Do you find arrogance or kindness more sexually attractive?” and “Would you be the most likely one to initiate a divorce?” and so on.

Each time they answer, they must move across the room to group up with the other women who gave the same answer, but not just the same answer to the most recent question – to every question. They can only group with women who are completely the same. What do you foresee happening?

If you’re rational, you’ll clearly predict that the final result, after even just a few dozen questions, is every woman ends up standing on her own.

Now let’s include the variables of personality from the scientifically validated Big 5 Personality Spectrums.[5] What effect does being an extrovert have on a woman’s social behaviour? What if she’s also highly agreeable? But then what if she’s highly disagreeable? Would the agreeable and neurotic woman make the same decisions and have the same preferences as the disagreeable extrovert? Of course not.

This is only the tip of the iceberg.

If you take off the red lens and look closer at individuals in society, you’ll be able to find examples of every exception you can possibly imagine. You’ll find women who find dad bods more attractive that ripped abs. You’ll find women who prefer poor artists to rich powerful businessmen. You’ll find girls who hate nightclubs and prefer reading a book on philosophy. You’ll find lesbians!

At the most basic biological and psychological level, we have enough variables to guarantee that every woman is slightly unique and different from every other woman. Once you start adding variables like childhood experiences, trauma, cultural influences, sexual orientation, age, ethnicity, in the moment mood, and so on, it becomes impossible to accurately claim that all women are the same.

I can’t describe the universe without gravity being true. I can’t describe colours without light refraction being true. So if the truth is that every individual woman is different – which it is – then what happens to all Red Pill theories and strategies? They fall apart. Red Pill can’t accurately describe how to interact with all women following a single-minded perspective without AWATS being true.

Well, this answers my first dilemma: why can’t my Red Pill friends can’t maintain a healthy connection with a woman? Because they’re using a generic, one-size-fits-all approach toward a massively diverse group – a group so diverse that it barely makes sense to even call them a group. Of course that won’t work.

It’s like learning only how to drive a ride-on lawnmower and believing that will also help you fly a jet, haul a truck, and man a spacecraft.

Why I couldn’t get through The Rational Male

On several attempts, I’ve tried to finish reading Rollo Tomassi’s book The Rational Male, the essential bible for the Red Pill devout. And try as I might, I just can’t get through it. This struggle is actually the main catalyst for me writing this letter – I had originally planned to write a full review of his book.

Why couldn’t I finish it? Three main reasons:

  • It’s clearly based on an unproven conspiracy theory about men being enslaved by women through societal culture. It demeans men, in the exact same way feminism demeans women: it says we’re the victims,
  • It claims to be scientific and makes many absolute factual statements, yet never provides sources, citations, or empirical evidence for its claims, meaning it really has no interest in being scientific,
  • Nearly every claim depends on the premise that all women are the same.

Conspiracy theories are not called scientific theories for a simple reason: they’re not supported by evidence. There’s another name for claims that are not supported by valid scientific evidence, especially when counterevidence is readily available: bullshit.

At the beginning of the book, Tomassi – like many other Red Pill gurus I’ve looked into – goes on at length about his qualifications in psychology. He mentions a double-major in psychology (I have the same degree and at best it’s an entry-level introduction to psychology), and then references his many years spent on men’s forums by day while seducing women by night (or words to that extent).

Then, like many other pieces of Red Pill content I’ve seen, there are frequent references in The Rational Male to scientific principles, evolutionary psychology, vague ‘studies’ proving this and that, and hundreds of factual claims.

Yet a truly scientific person would never do any of this.

True scientists are humble about their qualifications, knowing full well how measly their intelligence is compared with Nobel Prize winners and other geniuses. And no self-respecting scientist would make absolute factual claims, and certainly not without citations, careful reference to possible exceptions, and rationale justifying any hypotheses (rather than presenting hypotheses as theories).

I know this appears to be an ad hominem attack (focusing on the author rather than his points), but as all his points are predicated on his expertise, due to his refusal to cite valid source material, then if his expertise is questionable all of his claims also become suspect.

When you combine how unscientific the writing style is, not just for this book but for every Red Pill article, video and forum post I’ve ever digested, and you combine this with the clear scientific fact that all women are not the same, you start to answer the second dilemma: Why does Red Pill produce so many psychologically unwell guys?

The truth is healthy and helpful by nature because it aligns with reality. So if someone is ingesting a lot of a certain type of material and becoming or remaining unhealthy, or at least not seeing consistent improvement, you can rest assured that that material is probably not truthful.

So what is Red Pill, exactly?

When I called it a ‘philosophy’, they told me it’s not a philosophy, it’s a community. When I called them a community, they tell me they’re not a community. I once made the mistake of calling them a movement (with reference to MGTOW), and they insulted me and insisted that they’re not a movement. So what is Red Pill?

Let’s start with identifying what it’s not.

It’s not a philosophy, as it lacks the basic critical thinking and open skeptical dialogue that is a prerequisite for a philosophy. A genuine philosopher does not arise from an echo chamber.

It’s not a community because they have no clear membership process, refuse to identify as such, and often shun members who don’t represent them well (e.g. my Red Pill friends claiming the lunatics aren’t “true Red Pillers”).

And it’s not a movement because they take no affirmative action of any measurable kind, even if they do complain about men’s rights often.

It would be too easy to take the resentful road many Red Pill critics take and call them a cult. While even former members have referred to them using this word,[6] to be fair, Red Pill doesn’t meet cult criteria, namely: they don’t have a single, charismatic leader; they don’t live together in a physical community of any kind; and they don’t have a single set of rules by which to follow. They’re not a cult.

Until recently, the closest I was able to come is to call it a religion. They believe information on faith rather than reason. They punish heresy and reward blind worship. They have ‘priests’ who tell everyone what the virtues are and how one must live by them. They even have a bible, of sorts, in Tomassi’s book. But they don’t have a clear god or set of gods. They don’t have a church. They don’t have commandments. They’re not a religion.

There is only one set of criteria regarding group knowledge and community by which Red Pill exactly fits:

A conspiracy theory.

  • They have a clear enemy whom they claim has power over the world (i.e. women, specifically feminists and feminist allies).
  • They cherry-pick evidence to suit their narrative.
  • If you’re not with them, you’re automatically part of the conspiracy (i.e. Blue Pill).
  • Pseudoscience and outright lies are presented as facts.
  • They portray themselves as victim-heroes.
  • They claim that their version of the truth is the only version, and that any scientific or empirical findings that disagree with them are part of the conspiracy (i.e. biased by feminism in some way).

Red Pill has all the hallmarks of a conspiracy theory.

The irony of the manosphere

I don’t mind conspiracy theories that do no real harm, like Flat Earthers and Chemtrailers and 9/11 Truthers. Apart from being a bit awkward and embarrassing, they mostly just whinge on Facebook and Reddit and nothing really bad actually happens.

This is not the case for the Red Pill conspiracy.

The misogyny in the forums and blogs, and the years of lost opportunities from members following their advice, is but a drop in the ocean of the harm caused by The Red Pill mentality.

Men subscribing to Red Pill, and it’s subsidiaries that follow the same conspiracy theory – MGTOW, Incel, and SlutHate – have members who have taken it a step further, and actually committed violent crimes against women (and other men) in the name of the Red Pill perspective, including mass murder.[7] This has happened on multiple unconnected occasions.

When multiple members of a group commit mass-murders repeatedly and the group generally applauds them for doing this[8] (or at least doesn’t condemn it), you cannot then claim with certainty that the group is healthy or helpful.

The manosphere in general, of which Red Pill is a significant piece, claims to be protecting men against feminist-inspired misandry and legal unfairness. But the irony of this is how it mirrors exactly the extreme left feminist movement – the very thing it claims to be the solution for!

Third-wave feminism and Red Pill are guilty of the exact same offences:

  • Sexism
  • Pseudoscience being presented as fact
  • Anecdotal evidence, cherry-picked studies, and personal feelings being given priority over facts and more valid statistics
  • Indoctrination of members through an echo-chamber environment
  • Targeting recruitment at psychologically vulnerable and damaged people, usually youths
  • Spreading hate under the banner of rationality or loving support
  • Damaging to men and women alike, and further dividing the genders rather than uniting them
  • Present themselves as the victims, and claiming one gender suffers worse than the other
  • Make false claims about rape
  • Blame society for their own personal problems and weaknesses

The list goes on and on. And if you think I’m building a straw man here (misrepresenting Red Pill), just spend a few hours going through their main forum.

I understand the appeal

I get it. I promise I do.

Maybe you’re a 25-year-old guy who’s never been laid and women seem to ignore you.

Or you’re a recently divorce-raped single dad who just had his world torn apart by a horrible bitch, and now has no idea how to start dating again.

Or you’re a confused, lonely teen who’s been bullied and mistreated.

Or you’re a regular guy looking to improve himself and want to know what it means to be a man.

Yes, the resources are lacking for us guys. Everything out there seems to be directed at helping women, and it seems society gives you shit for even wanting help. And that’s because society does give you shit for wanting help!

So one day you stumble across a community that celebrates manhood.

“Such a community exists?! And I can be a part of it? No more loneliness and self-loathing? There’s a way out of this confusion and misery? I might even get laid? Fuck yeah, sign me up!!”

I get it.

But then, after a while, the community starts to get a little darker than you expected. You see some things in there that make you a tad uncomfortable. You’re told you just need to “wake up” to the hard truths of life and women. But maybe it still doesn’t quite sit well with you.

Maybe you’ve never really hated all women. Maybe you see your mother as a good person, or maybe a few girls were kind to you in high school, or maybe one of your ex’s was a great person to spend time with. There’s just something not quite right about the constant reference to all women as superficial, nasty, manipulative, soul-sucking, money-hungry whore bitches.

Sure, you resent the way some women have treated you, we all do, but are they really worthy of pure hate? Should we manipulate them into sex? Should we use and abuse them? Should we be dishonest with them and pretend to be something we’re not just to get our dicks wet?

Maybe you say Yes. In which case, Red Pill is going to seem like heaven to you. It will echo back exactly what you already believe because that’s what it is: an echo chamber for the hurt, broken and bitter. A place to vent your hate, where you’ll be applauded for deceiving women and getting your revenge.

But maybe you say No.

Maybe you just wanted some support and advice so that you didn’t have to suffer so much. Maybe you actually enjoy the company of women and feel like feminine energy improves your life. Maybe you just wanted to figure out what it means to be a real man so that you would naturally attract the opposite sex. Maybe you see women as allies rather than enemies. OK, maybe you want to get laid, but you also want the woman to enjoy it too.

If that’s the case, you need to escape from the Red Pill conspiracy!

Thankfully, there are finally now other resources beyond Red Pill to help men in love, confidence and masculinity. And I’m not just pitching for myself. I have no affiliation to any of the following:

Dr Glover has his NMMNG groups, resources and coaching.[9]

John Wineland teaches men how to connect with women to a level you might not believe is possible.[10]

David Deida might understand women better than they understand themselves.[11]

The list grows every day.

There is now a plethora of healthy, masculine role-models, coaches, and communities available to you. And they don’t preach hate and victimhood and conspiracies, they preach responsibility, integrity, and connection. They often base their findings on science and philosophy. They try to ensure everyone wins.

Not to mention healthy female advisors and coaches, who have your best interests at heart, like Brene Brown, Esther Perell, and Byron Katie. If you ever wanted to truly heal your resentment toward women, hire a female coach who also advocates for men, someone you admire and respect. It will do you wonders.

The reason I’m so strong in my relentless critique of Red Pill is that it’s filled with guys I care about and want to see succeed, and it seems to be hurting these guys more than helping them.

The main reason I was unable to finish Tomassi’s book, or indeed many of the posts and videos I tried to read as I explored this community, is because I could feel myself getting infected by them.

There’s a sweet, lulling poison in their words; language that’s carefully designed to appeal to men who enjoy rationality, logic, and clear answers. Lies are disguised as science, hate is disguised as advice, and the victimization of men is disguised as being rescued from the Matrix. It’s poison, and I literally start to feel sick when I consume it.

So, this is my final letter to the Red Pill community (probably).

Why? Because every time I critique them, even their most rational responses – tucked in-between the all-caps ‘cuck’ comments – merely insist that I should read more Red Pill stuff. But I just can’t take any more. I don’t want to get sick.

I want to maintain my love for humanity instead of feeling like a victim.

I want to be free to always speak my mind honestly rather than sneak and deceive.

I want to love my wife without trying to dominate her.

I want to support both male and female leaders who are making the world a better place.

I want to raise my daughter to be confident and free, and not see her as the enemy.

And I fear that I won’t be able to do all this stuff if I drown the Red Pill well.

There’s no arguing with a conspiracy theory because arguments require a commitment to rationality and evidence. There’s nothing I can do about the Red Pill belief-system because it exists inside a reality where facts don’t matter.

But maybe I can help some of its devotees to escape.

My hand is outstretched to any man who wishes to climb out of the well, shake off the drops of victimhood, blame and resentment, and find peace in his masculinity and his relationships with women. I might not have all the answers, but I know of many places where you can find them, and you won’t have to hate anyone to get there.

I pledge to you that I will never mock or insult you for disagreeing with me. There’s a reason I’m still friends with guys in the Red Pill community – I don’t hold their opposing beliefs against them.

Indeed, I will welcome a rational debate. You will never be told you must do things my way, in fact, you will be encouraged to find your own way, even if it contradicts mine. I do myself sometimes commit the same sins I’ve accused Red Pill of (e.g. I don’t always cite factual claims either), but because of this, I’m always open to being challenged.

To those of you who refuse to leave Red Pill, I still love you as brothers. I know you’re hurt and confused and feeling hopeless, and maybe you see me as the enemy. And maybe I am the enemy of Red Pill, but I’m not your enemy. I will always be ready to help you find a healthier, more effective path to tread, even if that path has nothing to do with me or my work.

And if you never want my support, that’s OK, all I ask is that you honour this final request: please don’t con my female friends into having sex with you under false pretences; please don’t abuse my male friends for treating women with respect; please don’t insult my wife just because she is a woman; and please don’t rape or murder my daughter.

Thank you for reading. You may now turn on the caps lock to deliver your response.

References and citations












14 Responses

  1. I don’t think you have any “Red-Pill” friends, or you wouldn’t be talking about them as such. The effort you go through to make a blog post LOL

  2. Thank you for this article, I think you made excellent points and made them well. I will confess I’ve never identified as a member of the Red Pill community, even though my life has been massively, negatively impacted by Feminist ideology, particularly in the form of my manipulative and controlling ex-wife.

    The reason why I never became part of that community was because I had already developed a vague understanding of how Feminism had essentially become something that bares all the hallmarks of a conspiracy theory, and not just a garden variety conspiracy theory like Area 51, but a “tribalistic hate conspiracy” that more closely resembles anti-semitism in that it casts an entire group of people as being an evil cabal that controls and oppresses everyone through subtle control of power.

    When I finally discovered the Red Pill community online after seeing The Red Pill movie (which I very much enjoyed and generally agree with) I was immediately turned off by the casual and frequent use of gross generalisations (all women are …) combined with bitterness and hatred, and the reason why it turned me off so much was because it seemed to me to be an almost perfect mirror of the “man-hating rad-fem” segment of the Feminist movement which I had come to loathe so much for being essentially a sexist hate movement.

    One of my biggest complaints about the Feminist movement has always been that they had become exactly what they claimed to hate because they were deeply sexist, and one of the reasons why it has become this way is because the moderates (genuine egalitarians) can’t or won’t criticize the extremists (radical feminists). If two wrongs don’t make a right (Feminists reacting to sexism with sexism) then three wrongs are definitely a bad idea (Red Pillers reacting to Feminist sexism with more sexism)

    For me this article excellently articulates many of the arguments for why both movements (are they even separate, or just two sides of the same coin?) have turned into a form of hate mongering conspiracy theory. I have had many of these sorts of thoughts myself, but only vaguely and with nothing like the level of detail you’ve gone into here.

    Thank you

  3. Interesting article, you make quite a few valid points.

    I identify as a Red Pill guy, though I don’t represent every single thing voiced by them, nor do they represent mine. We are, above all, individuals, not voices of a group/movement. I look for knowledge and personal growth where it is to be found, and I try my best to seek it with open eyes and as wide a vision as I can manage. My journey actually started with discovering Jordan Peterson, who’s insights indeed changed my life, and I’d like to say that I’m in the process of rebuilding myself into a far more resilient person. Eventually I stumbled upon MGTOW, which I did NOT identify with at all. This led me on to The Rational Male. And while this book isn’t flawless (let’s face it, even the most acknowledged literature isn’t flawless truth), nor do I agree with every single thing that’s in there, however it contains A LOT of hard truth. Its eye-opening effect can’t be denied in my opinion.

    To manage to read a book like The Rational Male, let alone read it and REALLY analyze it, means, as the author puts it, to “take the red pill”. Most men aren’t ready for it, and it’s no wonder. Usually it takes a significant emotional trauma for someone to be able to look so far outside the social norms, and it’s a painful lesson.

    You are right that it focuses a bit much on the “feminine imperative”, even though large parts of it is painfully spot-on. To this I should add that I live in Sweden, where radical feminism and egalitarianism have been pushed to the very unhealthy extreme, from the political level down to the individual. So many of Rollo’s “conspiracy-theories” sadly feel rather close to home. I can say it’s not a pretty sight.

    Back to the book, having read the whole thing, I can say Rollo does not even hint at the AWATS-theory, I daresay that’s something made up by, shall we say, extremists? Nor does he “blame” women as a gender per se, or paint them as “the enemy”. The feminine imperative is simply a result of an ideology taken too far, and being allowed to seep into the political arena. The parts of his writing which really hooked me were the evolutionary parts, hypergami being one of them, another part being his explanation of the Stockholm syndrome and why women generally has an easier time to move on to the next partner after a breakup/divorce. It put to light the fact that men and women aren’t just a bit different, we are VERY different. We are wired so incredibly different to the very core, it’s mind-boggling. And to have this put to words is a much needed lesson, in my opinion it “levels the playingfield”. Even though The Rational Male had a big impact on me, I still respect women as before, and I’m still just as keen on dating, I just navigate the dating arena with eyes more open, and as such with less risk of falling into traps.

    Concluding this long tirade.. The Red Pill philosophy (for lack of a better word) is relatively new. In a sense I believe many “followers” (I hate that word) are still struggling to find their footing so to speak. I’m sorry to hear about the hate you received, they really should know better. To slam down on people who differ in opinion is the way to extreme ideologic thinking, and I would hate for the Manosphere/Red Pill philosophy to become like that. Extremism in any form is, in my opinion, toxic, as history clearly shows us. That being said, I truly believe The Manospere and The Rational Male series are a much needed antidote to the confusion and frustration many men out there are struggling with, as well as a much needed counter-weight to the radical feminism that, while well intended, has become the very thing it fought against. Here’s hoping that The Red Pill philosophy stays the course it originally intended, and helps promote self-growth, knowledge, and a clarity of vision as we all stumble through this swirling journey called life.

  4. Im a 25 year old guy who is just trying to be a better man and honestly improve my dating life. I came across the rational male in Dec 2017 and I had never been great with girls before that. I had girlfriends but I always couldn’t express myself sexually and emotionally. I was frustrated and came across no more mr nice guy and the rational male. Those books really opened my eyes to all the mistakes i had been making. The rational male definitely has some hard truths but i do think there are a lot of good things for men to take away. I’m a mama’s boy and love women. The Rational male could easily be misconstrued as portraying women as the enemy but I don’t think that is necessarily the case. Though I don’t attach my value to how many women I’ve slept with, i can say my love life has improved significantly since i read the rational male and no more mr nice guy. I just bought the way of the superior man so i was excited when you mentioned David Deida. Thanks for the open letter.

    1. Sounds like you’ve taken the information and used it in a healthy way, well done mate. NNMNG and Deida will add more nuance and balance to the message

  5. Im 18 and i consider myself as “redpilled”, i have been reading a lot of articles about this stuff, so i believe that i can talk freely about this.

    I ended up here because i wanted to contrast the views i have of these authors and what the opposite thinking is, because i dont want to be in any comunnity i only want the truth. I agree with you on some points, like guys hating on women, the doubtful “scientific studies” and that a lot of guys believe that all woman are the same, so i understand you.

    When i started reading about the redpill comunity, i also thought this to be misogynist and anti-women, but later i realized that the objective of the books was not to attack women, but to understand them.

    Rollo is married and has a daugther i believe, so i dont think that he sees women as the enemy.
    There are other “leaders” in the redpill comunity like Richard Cooper, or Aaron Clarey, that have books and youtube channells too, you could look it up if u want. And after having seen all of them i cannot see that they promove any hate to women.

    Obviusly like in any other comunnity there are idiots or guys who hate women, that maybe align with the MGTOW and think that red pill is the same or simply that they cannot get women so they hate life. But i believe that the mayority of the guys are rational and logical people that want to understand women and have better relationships. To illustrate this im going to give you my example.
    I always hated women because i couldnt understand them, and didnt matter where i look for i couldnt find anything different that feminism or something like that, so after discovering this, and started to learn about women nature, there is no more hate only happiness that i know how to deal with them.

    To conclude, i dont know if i could say that discovering this changed my life, But all the information and things you could learn from these books is invaluable and if you are cautious when you read and you look for the truth, i cannot think of something better for men that learning all of this stuff.

    1. Hey mate, I love your nuanced approach, taking what works and discarding what doesn’t. If everyone in Red Pill thought like you there wouldn’t be a problem

  6. Dan,

    Without prejudice:

    First off, I disagree with the concept of ‘Red Pill’, that is labelling it to a community of men who see women as they do. The Red Pill, comes from the movie ‘The Matrix’. This therefore identifies ‘falling down the rabbit hole’ which is a far more complex, deep, reality than men who are trying to understand women.

    Secondly, seeing your use of ‘conspiracy theorist’ instantly pigeon holes you in there with the blue pillers. And when I say ‘blue pill’ it means, sadly, complete ignorance of reality; those people who are still happily plugged into the Matrix. Dan, you are blue pill. This is not an insult, whatsoever. It’s merely stating that you are, living in a bubble, unable to even comprehend what the world is, why it is, who’s running it, who’s making the changes, who decides when war happens and with whom… and so on.

    Thirdly, it is clear, beyond all shadow of any doubt that you are a feminised male. You have been emasculated, courtesy of being part of a matriarchal society and you do not realise that you are. In fact the majority of men don’t realise that they are, because they are living inside the box, looking out, instead of outside the box looking in. Their understanding of life is very restricted because that’s precisely how they’ve been brought up.
    I could go into a very deep explanation into WHO is behind the creation of the matriarchy and WHY, but it would be greatly wasted upon you. It would be wasted upon you because you do not understand that you, along with the overwhelming majority of the western population are demoralised. Demoralisation destroys one’s ability to think critically and see the truth.
    Yuri Bezmenov was a Soviet dissident, a former KGB agent, who managed to flee the communist regime, escape to the west and did his best to warn the west of encroaching communist takeover of western civilization:

    To quote Yuri Bezmenov, in his 1984 interview with G Edward Griffin:

    “The demoralization process in the United States is basically completed already. For the last twenty-five years, actually it’s over-fulfilled because the demoralization now reaches such areas where previously not even comrade Andropov and all his experts would even dream of such a tremendous success. Most of it is done by Americans to Americans thanks to lack of moral standards. As I mentioned before exposure to true information does not matter anymore. A person who was demoralized is unable to assess true information. The facts tell nothing to him. Even if I shower him with information, with authentic proof, with documents, with pictures. Even if I take him by force to the Soviet Union and show him concentration camp he will refuse to believe it until he is going to receive a kick in his fat bottom. When the military boot crashes his, then he will understand, but not before that. That’s the tragic of the situation of demoralization.”


    You, along with the majority of the western population suffer from cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance is a term for the state of discomfort felt when two or more modes of thought contradict each other. You believe what you’ve been told about how society is from the msm, politicians, academia etc. and when something challenges that, such as Tomassi’s Red Pill, you are unable to accept it because you cannot possibly believe that it is true. It contradicts your beliefs about how you perceive the world.
    You are not alone, nay, you are in fact part of the overwhelming majority. Regardless, how much information you receive – literature, pictures, actual video evidence of whatnot, regardless you will never believe it, because it opposes the ‘truth’ you’ve been indoctrinated with all your life, which of course, is a lie.

    I bear no malice or ill will to you at all, but your beliefs are incredibly shallow about Red Pill, because, as stated, you are blue pilled. And again, blue pilled (to define the original meaning from the Matrix) in that you are still in the Matrix. You are still plugged into the machine, that you’ve been plugged into since birth, giving you the illusion of life, you’ll only ever see once you’ve been unplugged.
    Do I recommend that you unplug? No, not really for if you do unplug, you can kiss your present reality goodbye. It would be your opening of Pandora’s box moment.

    There are many women out there who think they are not feminists, but actually are, because they’ve been brought up within the matriarchy.
    There are many men out there who would laugh if you called them a feminist, but sadly, the majority of men ARE very feminine.
    You are living inside a play that was written a long time ago. You are nothing but a cog, within a machine, doing what is desired of you. You won’t ever break out of that machine, because in order to do so, you have to step into the rabbit hole. In stepping into the rabbit hole, it’s a one way trip, no exit, just one speed – down. This is what the Matrix is all about. It’s essentially a continuation of Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland, we can see hinted at, at the start of the movie when the computer screen tells Neo to “follow the rabbit”, we then see, after a knock on the door, tattooed onto his friend’s girlfriend’s shoulder.
    Did Lewis Carroll write this as a harmless fantasy or was he getting at something more sinister – another world within our world, completely hidden and in control?

    While you remain blue pilled (again from the Matrix definition), not the emotional insult from people because you disagree with them on the Red Pill (again the wrong terminology to define the relationship between man and women), you will forever take the stance you have and not realise that men and women have their roles in life and that we are vastly different from one another, due to the roles nature/God created for us. In being blue pilled you will continue to give the excuse that “so and so is a conspiracy theory” because you suffer from cognitive dissonance as a result of being demoralised (along with the overwhelming majority of the western population). You will never realise that you are the product of the matriarchy for if you were the product of a patriarchy, you would never have made this video, nor defend women as you have. You have been programmed, as stated, a cog in the machine. And like in the Matrix movie, you are essentially Neo, who hasn’t been unplugged yet. You therefore don’t even realise that you’re part of the machine.

    1. I think I can reply quite quickly here with a clarification: I thought I made it clear in this video/post that I was specifically speaking to the arm of Red Pill philosophy that focuses on relationships between men and women, and not the overarching Red Pill theories about the world / governments etc.
      Based on scientific findings and logic, I stand by the claims I’ve made here until proven otherwise, including the claim that Tomassi’s work falls into the category of conspiracy theory based on the factors I listed – especially his lack of citations, sources and valid evidence.

  7. Thank you for this well written article! I see no difference between Red Pill and radical Feminism, they both equally hate, finger point, blame and seek the role of the victim. I went down the rabbit hole to research because I was losing and now lost my man to the Red Pill. I didn’t like what I saw on the female or male side of these “groups” or rather cults. Reminiscent of Nazi Germany, a group of people come together and say, “We’re better then everybody else”., we have been wronged, we will make them pay, we know the truth, it’s their fault! Then Jim Jones starts handing out the Kool-aid. These cults don’t have your best interests at heart, they want to conquer and divide all while reaching for your wallets/pocket books. I have yet to meet a man or woman who held these beliefs to heart and had a wonderful, meaningful and amazing relationship with the opposite sex. These cult members exude hate and negativity, who wants to be around that?

    Please take the time to research the actual real facts. These cults usually entangle people when they are experiencing a major life changing event, when they are at their most emotional and vulnerable state seeking answers. Did you know that 90% of custody cases are settled outside of court? This is just an example of how these cults take information and twist it to their benefit. People are individuals, both good and bad, screen who you keep in your life. You are what you consume with what you read and those with whom you surround yourself in life ♥.

    If you want to have a healthy meaningful relationship, work on you, better yourself, become the best version of you that you can be. It’s a lifetime commitment to yourself, seek out those who really do want to help you, be careful what you feed your mind. Hate is a negatively powerful pill to swallow. I challenge anyone to show me an example from history where compartmentalizing a group of people, then hating and demeaning them has shown to have had a positive impact on humanity, I’ll wait…

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