Why Nice Guys are reluctant to show attraction and interest

For much of my early years, I had a strange reluctance to give praise and compliments and show interest in people, beyond sort of vague non-committal and judgmental praise. I also felt resistant to receiving affection. It took me a long time to realize why I had this problem, and it’s because showing interest is the precursor to intimacy. Like Read More

The most dangerous time in a Hermit crab’s life

The most dangerous time in a hermit crab’s life is when he has to find himself a new shell. See, hermit crabs don’t grow their own shell. They borrow crab shells and other objects to use as protection. When they outgrow their current home, they have to switch or they risk squishing themselves. In that moment, where they line up Read More

Why you must set boundaries EARLY

A little while back I did a podcast on divorce. In preparation for that podcast, I did a deep dive into the research and statistics around divorce, and discovered what I’ve I suspected all along from my coaching work: that the problems develop very early on in the relationship. It’s usually in the first three to six months, the honeymoon Read More

Why approaching strangers isn’t getting you a girlfriend

This one is for the singles who are actively getting out there. If you’ve gotten into the whole pickup artist thing, or basically any form of dating-related activity where you’re being active and bold, you might have started approaching strangers. If you’re following my basic integrity approach, then you’re doing with it bold and transparent honesty, expressing attraction respectfully and Read More

Cure Nice Guy Syndrome by being unpleasant

When I started investigating how I was unable to express emotions as a Nice Guy (alexithymia), I observed a theme. All the emotions that could be described with the word “dis-” in the front of it are the ones that I most struggled to express, e.g. disagreement dislike disinterest disgust distrust disappointment All the disses were the hardest ones for Read More