10 secrets everyone keeps

After coaching for 8 years (and rehabilitating staff and managing offenders for about 7 years prior to that), I’ve been blessed to discover some of people’s deepest and darkest secrets.
Not only that, after having literally thousands of people tell me what’s really going on behind the scenes, I’ve also seen patterns and themes. There are a LOT of secrets that we actually have in common but nobody talks about them so we think we’re alone.
Wanna hear ’em?
Here’s a random list off the top of my head of all the secrets we think hardly anyone has but actually nearly everyone has, just so you don’t feel so alone:
– Everyone gets depression, mostly it goes undiagnosed and untreated, and mostly it comes from burning out on the stress of trying control things you can’t control
– Almost everyone has some form of social anxiety – in introverts it comes out as shyness and people-pleasing; in extroverts it comes out as showing off and attention seeking
– Nobody is presenting themselves honestly and it’s never going nearly as well as it looks like it’s going
– Most men have performance issues of some kind in the bedroom
– A huge number of women have had miscarriages and the grief for both parents is the same as losing a child
– Most nice behaviour has an unhealthy hidden agenda
– Most people have attachment issues from the ineffective parenting they received that sabotage their relationships and they don’t even know that that’s the reason
– Most alcohol use is a coping mechanism for social anxiety, and many people cannot interact well with new or unfamiliar people without it
– Most successful and highly ambitious people are driven by demons like perfectionism and self-doubt, and they struggle to enjoy their achievements
– A majority of pain comes from refusing to accept reality because of inaccurate beliefs programmed into you during childhood
– Most people, men and women, have difficulty controlling their use of porn
– People lie WAY more than you could possibly believe – a majority of what most people tell you is untruthful or dishonest to some extent
– Generally, the thing you’re most ashamed of is actually your biggest strength/asset but you haven’t figured out how to use it
– People generally compare upwards, meaning they overlook how much better they’re doing than nearly everyone else
– You’d be surprised at how many people would love for who you are without you trying to make people like you, if you just weren’t so ashamed of who you are… plus you might need to work on your communication skills
What would you add to the list?

Dan’s Top Resources


Dan has 3 bestselling non-fiction books available in both written and audio form:

  • The Naked Truth, his latest release, shows you how radical honesty builds self-confidence and relationships
  • Nothing to Lose explores how to build confidence from the inside by correcting the programming in your brain
  • The Legendary Life is a very practical, action-focused guide on how to plan and execute a life plan that brings you your ideal lifestyle

Online courses

Dan continues to put out high quality online self-paced courses through the Udemy platform

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